As young businessmen, Brian and I both dreamed of big paychecks and the approval of our peers. As we both surpassed our own expectations, dreams, and goals we quickly realized that money and outside affirmation aren’t all they’re chalked up to be.

In this episode, we take a deep dive into how true fulfillment comes from putting yourself first. This may look selfish initially, but is actually the most generous journey you could embark on. I pull from my own personal story and share how I used a hard moment in my life as a catalyst for success. Brian takes a moment to talk about his son and how he has to resist the urge to project his expectations onto him.

We break down how looking out for #1 (yourself), enables you to look after those you care about and are responsible for. This also led us to discuss self-promotion and how to advocate for yourself and your business with honor and integrity.


Show Notes

Intro & Drinks:
Brian beats the rain and prepares for a cross-country road trip with his family. He also seeks out a sponsorship from [1:56]
Michael Anthony talks about his vacation and how it took him 5 days to unplug. [4:11]
Less is more. – MA [4:55]
Michael Anthony talks about Dry January and how he’s on week two of his detox. [5:20]
Michael Anthony bought a cold press juicer and has been doing 2-a day workouts which include pickleball. [6:30]
Today, Michael Anthony is drinking Tequila Don Julio 70th Anniversary Edition from Cancún Mexico. [9:32]
Michael Anthony’s story of his infamous Don Julio margarita. [10:32]
Brian is drinking Jefferson’s Ocean Voyage 16. [12:52]
Brian talks about the journey of his liquor and how according to the company, it was aged at sea, hence ‘Voyage 16.’ [14:00]
Sales people love to get sold & love stories. – MA [14:59]
If you’re going to tell a story, commit to the story. – Brian [16:45]
Michael Anthony mentions Seth Godin, the power of story, and Godin’s essay Placebo. [17:30]
Michael Anthony talks about working at a vineyard co-owned by Kix Brooks, Arrington Vineyards. [18:00]
How a table wine with a nice name can sell at a premium price. – MA [19:00]
Be intentional about building a brand and developing a story with it. – MA [19:45]
We live by story. – Brian [20:00]
Our life is not a series of vignettes, it’s a big story that is underlying everything. – Brian [20:30]
Don’t lie about your story. [20:45]
People tend to lie about their story due to insecurities. [21:15]

Word Association [21:58]
Brian doesn’t own a microwave. He talks about eliminating the laziness of convenience out of his life and being more deliberate with his actions. [29:45]

Main Topic: 

Chasing the pay and the praise without losing yourself.  [31:20]
Do not seek praise and pay at the expense of losing yourself. – MA [31:30]
Don’t sacrifice what matters in life for money and affirmation. – MA [32:53]
Michael Anthony talks about his dreams of being a millionaire. [33:15]
Michael Anthony tells about his tough background and his journey to success. [34:00]
Michael Anthony discusses how he reached a place where it was the right thing for the wrong reason and how that almost destroyed his marriage. [34:45]
Right thing + wrong reason = undesirable result. – MA [35:00]
Fulfillment in what you do is admirable as long as you find contentment. – Brian [36:00]
If you’re seeking praise, your presence and your purpose becomes disconnected from you and you end up becoming a fragmented person. – Brian [37:00]
Brian talks about his desire to leave a legacy for his son. [37:25]
Brian discusses his struggle to let go of being the writer of his son’s story. [38:00]
Nobody cares as much about you and your life as you do. If someone cares more, you’re living someone else’s life. – MA [39:20]
Life is about empowerment. – MA [40:00]
Don’t take on a victim mindset or accept the status quo. – MA [40:30]
Gun, Germs, and Steel. [41:00]
Brian reminisces about reading Nietzsche in coffee shops to get laid. [41:20]
Love your neighbor, have a backbone but give grace, look out for #1, look out for yourself. – MA [43:00]
When we rely on others to put us first, and they don’t, it can put us in a victim mindset – MA [43:00]
When someone doesn’t appreciate you, move on! “Hashtag Next and Lizzo their ass!” – MA  [44:00]
You must eliminate all your excuses to stop blaming others! – MA [44:20]
Critical lesson: look out for #1 (you’re number 1). – MA [45:00]
Stop looking to somebody else to save you from your situation. – Brian [46:00]
Right things show up in my life because I do the right things, yes and no. – Brian [47:00]
If you’re waiting to be served, you can’t properly serve. – Brian [47:20]
Pour the value on and teach others do the same – MA [47:45]
Don’t A-S-K, don’t G-E-T. – Brian [47:50]
When we don’t get what we want, what happens? – Brian [48:00]
After you’ve listened, make sure to speak up. – Brian [49:00]
People that are in prison cannot help others get free, no matter what happened in Shawshank Redemption. – Brian [49:45]
Michael Anthony talks about his upbringing and the opportunity to use his hardships as excuses or fuel to succeed. [51:00]
We all have shit that has happened to us. What we do with the shit is what matters! – MA [52:30]
Michael Anthony talks about processing his father’s death amid a major business deal. [53:00]
Am I going to let this collapse me or use it as fuel? – MA [54:00]
In life there’s a coin. One side is victim, one is empowerment. Both are justified, but which is most beneficial? – MA [54:51]
Brian talks about choosing an abundance mindset.  [55:50]
Don’t be a coward. – Brian [56:20]
Choose external acceptance or choose personal excellence. – Brian [57:00]
When we chase outside acceptance we will always find our faults. – Brian [57:20]
The journey, the ride is what truly counts. – MA [57:53]
If one thing can change, 2 things can change and you become something different… when something changes, everything changes. – Brian [58:40]
If someone is chasing convenience and comfort, there is unresolved trauma there. – Brian [60:00]
Brian talks about relationships that align with your core values instead of praise. [61:44]
Brian discusses codependent relationships. [62:00]
Brian teases Michael Anthony about his love for Pickleball. [63:00]
Money is important and up to you to get it. – MA [64:00]
You must have both an abundance mindset and care about yourself to be successful. – MA [64:10]
Ask for your part. – MA [64:30]
It’s possible to give a shit about people and give a shit about yourself first. – MA [65:00]
Self promotion is important to success. – Brian [66:00]
Michael Anthony talks about office politics and how it drove him to work for himself. [67:10]
The more people we help, the more money we make. – MA [67:33]
Don’t be a slimy self- promoter. Be honest and real. – MA [68:00]
Absolute power absolutely corrupts. – MA [69:00]
If you’re watching other people’s shows and comparing it to your behind the scenes, stop it. – Brian [70:20]
Promote what you are. – Brian [71:20]
Whatever you talk about you get more of. – Brian [71:21]
Be generous to yourself. – Brian [71:50]
What’s great about you? – Brian [72:30]
Give yourself a break. – Brian [73:00]
Your outside posture reflects your inside posture. – Brian [73:10]
Your baggage has a weight limit if you want to fly. – Brian [73:50]
Confidence is a muscle that’s built over time. – Brian [74:00]
You are perfectly imperfect. – MA [74:45]
All the good stuff is in the mess. – Brian [75:00]
Brian discusses the principles of stoicism. [76:00]
Let challenges change you. – Brian [77:00]
Lean into the perfectly imperfect things. – Brian [77:50]
Give yourself the grace to accept the fact you may be a hot mess – you’re beautiful because of it. MA [78:00]
Wrap up. [79:00]
Next podcast episode will be about chasing the praise. [79:30]
Find your contentment and purpose on the journey. – MA [81:00]
Money by itself doesn’t fix anything – doesn’t bring the peace. – MA [81:36]
Work on the income but focus on making an impact. – Brian [83:00]
You’re worth it! – Brian [83:49]
Choose to be part of a conversation worth having. – Brian [85:00]

Subscribe, Like, Follow and Share to help get the word out – MA [86:00]

Links From This Episode

If you found value in this, we ask that you please share this episode with a friend. As always, subscribe, like, comment and share!